I was going to write a lovely welcome back blog that was going to be so happy and uplifting.
I even put thought into it today!! It’s been so long.
But then my husband ruined it all.

So instead, my welcome back blog will be a rant about my misery.
Fueled by this…

I’ll preface this with the back story.
For 3 weeks, THREE WEEKS, I’ve been asking my wonderful significant other to try on his dress pants and make sure they fit. We’re going to a wedding next week and I need to know if he needs to get new ones.
So last night I left him a kind note that politely reminded him to “Please, please, please try on your pants.”
So finally after 3 weeks, THREE WEEKS, he did.

So tonight I open my computer to find his lovely note on the monitor. Awesome.

Here’s the thing. Wives get bad wraps for no reason. You see, if James asked me to do something, I do it immediately or within a few days. No reminding me, no leaving me notes. Now I admit, I’m not perfect, maybe I forget something here or there. But overall, I’m always on top of it.

Husbands however, always whine that their wives nag and complain and nag. Well the fact is, we nag because they don’t do what we ask the first time. Don’t the husbands realize that if they just did what we asked the first time around…
They would have the golden silence they long for.

Freaking husbands. It’s a love hate thing.
But mostly love.
Sort of.

I had it first.
I’m just sayin.
I did.
Me. And Gwen.
We’re BFF.

What I’ve discovered is that if I want to be an actual photographer one day, I might as well get my editing and photoshop skills down, now.

Setting up a session and actually taking the pictures is the fun, easy part. If that’s all there was to it, I’d take pictures all day every day. However, that’s 25% of the job. Editing the pictures is the other 75%.

Fortunately, I like editing and find it fun. And it’s so exciting to tweak everything and bring an okay picture to life, and make it a bootyful pic. I’ve only learned about 10% of what photoshop has to offer. But it’s treating me well for now.

So if you ever get annoyed that you’re paying so much for family portraits, or your wedding photographer, just remember that after you go home, we’re working on your project for hours and days. But it’s worth it.

Here are a couple before and afters because I love love love before and afters. They’re my most favorite thing ever. Home makeover before and afters. Beauty makeover before and afters. And of course, picture before and afters.

BEFORE….blah

AFTER…ahhhhhhh!

BEFORE…Mehhhh
(Even the right black and white formula can take some time to figure out)

AFTER….Heeyyyyyyyy!!

BEFORE….I’ve had better.

AFTER….No I haven’t.

Our little buddy turned one last week.

Oh and before I forget, merry Christmas! Rampage wanted to say it with a little Christmas light, just a red one.

Anyways…this reminds me of the time that we took him to the vet a couple months ago. In addition to Rampage Maximus, we also call him buddy, buddypie, buddybiscuits and lots of other buddy related names. I’m sure this is very common with people who have male dogs.

So there was this little kid with the cutest little tiny puppy. He called his dog buddy also (again, common dog nickname). The little pup came up to me and the kid followed. I kindly asked the child what his puppy’s name was. To which he replied:
“Buddy (in his little annoying crackling kid voice).
That’s why we call him buddy (in his jerky kid voice).”

What a jerk. I had no response. What am I supposed to say to a jerky 7 year old.

And of course…we can’t leave one out from the hubs.

Today I told James that I’m going to turn lights off when we’re not in that room because I need to start conserving energy (one of the small things I”m doing to save the earth).

He said instead, why don’t I try not opening my mouth and conserve noise.

Oh the hubs. He somehow makes me laugh.

PS. I even updated my other blog. I’m on it today!
Happy Holidayssssssssss

I’m on my final stretch of being 28. 29 is a few weeks away. I’m old, mature and I know my place in the world. But there was a time when I was 18-21 that I was a hooker. It’s true. My mom even said so.

Like the time she yelled at me and when I got home in my average Thursday night hooker attire. She said, and I quote, “Get upstairs, you look like a hooker, I can’t even look at you!!!!!!!”

(And I realize I’ve quoted these over and over, but I can’t help it, they’re just such great moments with my mom that I will never forget).

And I can’t forget to mention the time Alison & were on our way out in our typical Tuesday night hooker outfits. She snarled as we were walking out with, and I quote, “where are you two going? To hang out with your harbor hooker friends?”

Lol.
Lol.

So my point…I saw you guys on Facebook, why are you still hookers?
I know that halloween is a time to dress up as something you’re not. Awesome! Have fun with it! But if you’re over….and I’m even gonna stretch this…if you’re over 23, try a carebear costume. Or how about jon and kate plus 8? Octomom? See lots of non hooker costumes are out there.

Unfortunately, those are not the fun dress up pics I saw on Facebook this year. Now I’m not a square. I’m all for looking hot. A little cleave…hot. Tight jeans to show off the ghetto bootie (that I only wish I had)…sweet. But it’s unacceptable to see a combination of cleave, abs and the majority of your legs. Even if it is halloween.

The only people under 23 on my Facebook are my nieces. And they weren’t the ones. I’m just saying. So next year, I think I’m going to delete the near or over 30 year olds who show the cleave, and the abs, and the legs and the butt crack, all at once. I’m deleting you from my FB and my life!! Just sayin.

Hi. How’s it going?? Long time no read. Sorry. I feel uninspired to write anything lately. I go through those phases. Just have nothing to say that’s worth anyone’s time.
So welcome back.

For the moment, I have a new writing location. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw because I’m sitting in the oasis (the only place I can get internet until my new airport card arrives this week) at the desk, in front of the window, on my apple laptop. So suddenly I feel inspired.

Unfortunately I feel inspired to write about sad topics.
Death.

Today I went to a funeral.
My boss, who I’ve been very close to for many years, lost his mother in a battle with cancer. She left behind 7 kids and her husband. She’s lived a beautiful life and had all 7 of her children by her side for the last few weeks.

So I feel very sad today. I feel the most sad though, for her husband. He has been her husband since 1945. When I think about him without his near lifetime companion, my eyes well up. When he told me today that she’ll be laid to rest on a cliff in Chile overlooking the ocean, I saw peace in his eyes. Then he told me that she was the best companion there was, and his eyes welled up with tears. So did mine.

So after a long day, all I wanted to do was come home and hug my husband and try not to think about such a far off lifetime. Instead, just sit in today’s happiness and love that we have together right now. That’s all that’s important.

After hugs, I made us a nice Ukranian dinner (because I’m Ukranian now). Obviously.

After dinner, normally I’d sit on my computer for too long. But because of my internet connection problem, I’ve resorted to less internet use for the week. Since I’m not very full of motivation today, I figured it’s a good time to catch up on tivo that I never seem to look at. Looking through the list, I was glad to see that Marley and Me had recorded in HD. Why not watch that? James was doing his thing, I know he’s not trying to watch it with me, so what better time than now to knock it out?

Not until after watching the movie in it’s entirety, did I remember the words of people who’d seen it…”it’s so sad,” “he dies,” “blah blah blah.”

Yes, well I certainly wish these words would have rang in my head before I decided to watch this movie.

Now let me tell you how much I despise my dog. Daily, I want to kick him. Regularly, we want to post on Craig’s List and ad for a “rampage in adolescence, take him now.”

Despite the misery that he brings, somehow, I’m also used to him. Now don’t get me wrong, the few times he’s been gone when I got home, it doesn’t seem weird, at all. I’m totally fine with it. But since he’s here, I deal.

So apparently, coming off a funeral, not the ideal day to watch Marley and Me. Oddly enough, after I tortured myself through dog death, all I wanted to do was hug my stupid dog.

Ah life, it becomes so real sometimes what tragedies it can bring.

Hug your companions daily. Don’t fight. Be happy that you’ve been blessed with love. Smile more. Rest more. Appreciate what you have and always have hope.

Remember that time that we left the dog outside of his crate while we were gone but forgot that it gets dark earlier now and didn’t leave on any lights so the dog couldn’t see anything for like 2 hours?

Remember that time James had the hickups for like 30 minutes and I wanted to punch him because they were so loud they were making me crazy?

Remember that time the hubs and I were wrapping up our 30 mile bike ride and my tire got caught in the curb and I fell off my bike and rolled over but fortunately broke my fall with my wrists but still landed in the middle of a driveway into Starbucks off a major street?

Sundays rule.

When I was young, nothing annoyed me more than when I would buy a new article of clothing, and my mom would say “my goooooodness, I should have just kept my old (insert article of clothing that I purchased). I knew it’d come back around.”

Uggggghhhhh. It made me sooooo annoyed.

Well the day has come my friends. My old age has brought those very same words out of my mouth. But the worst part is, I’ve started saying these very words so much younger than my mother ever did.

Does this mean I’m aging quicker? Yikes.

Well, at least I update my other blog.

I’m just gonna go on and create a new category.
“Stupid husband comments.”

He’s into video games again lately. So he turned on the xbox and cleared something, deleted friends, I don’t know. When he turned it off without having even played a game, I asked if he won.

His response?
“I’m here aren’t I? you tell me.”

Jerk.

A note to my engaged friends…think about the commitment you’re going to soon make. Is it really the right choice? Maybe if one of my friends would have asked me that question…well, I’m just sayin’. JS.